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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29102493">Handsome</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/trippieseojoon/pseuds/trippieseojoon'>trippieseojoon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fluff, Trans Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:42:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,100</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29102493</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/trippieseojoon/pseuds/trippieseojoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Siyeon comes out to Handong.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Han Dong | Handong/Lee Siyeon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Handsome</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Siyeon still doesn’t know where to begin.</p><p> </p><p>He just knows he needs to start <em> somewhere. </em> He can’t keep this to himself any longer. It’s been hard enough figuring things out all by himself, and it’s a whole other thing purposely keeping it from Handong. She needs to know, deserves to even. But this could change things. So much so that Siyeon’s stomach turns just <em> thinking </em> about bringing it up. It’s been almost two months now since he realized. Decided. </p><p> </p><p>He isn’t a she. </p><p> </p><p>Not only that, but he really wants top surgery. </p><p> </p><p>The recent discovery should’ve brought relief with it, but stress about what Handong will say, what she’ll think, has been plaguing his mind ever since. </p><p> </p><p>Doubt creeps in often. </p><p> </p><p>What if he does all this for nothing? He doesn’t even know what pronouns he’s comfortable with. He doesn’t know if he wants to pursue taking testosterone. If he tells Handong and loses her, makes her mad— What if it doesn’t even matter? He’s not comfortable where he stands, but he has no clue in hell where he’s going. Is risking losing Handong worth the relief he’s not even sure he’ll feel once he confides in her? </p><p> </p><p>He really doesn’t know, but something has to give.</p><p> </p><p>Handong’s cleaning up the kitchen when he forces himself over the threshold. The wine in his system is giving him the confidence he needs to say something. He grabs the leftover plates off the kitchen table and brings them to the sink. Handong has a content smile on her face as she focuses on the pan she’s washing. Siyeon prays what he’s about to say won’t change that. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve realized something.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hm?” </p><p> </p><p>It’s right on the tip of his tongue. </p><p> </p><p>He can’t look at Handong as he forces it off.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m trans.” </p><p> </p><p>Handong pauses. He can feel her gaze and hesitantly looks up to meet it. Wide eyes gaze back at him. Siyeon can hear his heart thumping in his ears, threatening to beat right up out of his throat. The hardest part is over. Hopefully. He can’t read Handong’s expression. She seems surprised. </p><p> </p><p>“When’d you realize?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s, uh— It’s been a few months.”</p><p> </p><p>“Still knew before you.” </p><p> </p><p>Her lips slowly form a smile and Siyeon can’t feel the ground under his feet. His brow only twitches in confusion for a second. He doesn’t have anything to worry about. Handong’s eyes are warmer than the feeling in his chest. Despite his nerves melting away, he can’t speak. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, baby.” Handong laughs, quickly rushing to dry her hands off before pulling him into a hug. </p><p> </p><p>Siyeon hadn’t even felt the tears brimming his eyes. They start to fall the second he’s in Handong’s hold. He hadn’t wanted to cry. He’s cried over this enough on his own time. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but it hadn’t been this. Handong wasn’t fazed. She was okay. </p><p> </p><p>They were okay. </p><p> </p><p>He hugs her tightly, as if the world might be playing a trick on him. He doesn’t want this feeling to go away, not yet. Hands rub his back soothingly as he sobs. He’s fretted over this for weeks. All for nothing. Handong hasn’t said it, but he can feel it in the way she’s holding him. She still loves him. She still wants to. </p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, you’re gonna make me cry too.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. I just— I wasn’t expecting it to happen like that.”</p><p> </p><p>Handong pulls away and holds his cheeks in her hands, wiping tears away with her thumbs, “Don’t apologize. It’s okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re okay with it? Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you. So, yeah.” she then teases softly, “Besides, I told you. I already knew.” </p><p> </p><p>“I know I’m trans… but there’s a lot I don’t know.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to be here for you every step of the way. Forwards, backwards, sideways— wherever.” </p><p> </p><p>Siyeon wants to keep crying, but he can’t help but laugh. Pulling it together, Handong keeps the leftover tears from staining his skin. Her hands eventually fall lower to grab Siyeon’s. There’s nothing but light in her eyes. She’s always been good at saying so much with no words at all. Siyeon knows he’s safe. </p><p> </p><p>“I, uh— I kind of want to start using different pronouns around you. Just to see how they feel. But I don’t wanna tell anyone else yet. So, I’m not sure how anything will work.” </p><p> </p><p>“What pronouns?” </p><p> </p><p>“He/him ones. Like, I don’t hate she, but I don’t know. I just wanna try.” </p><p> </p><p>“Do you want me to start calling you my boyfriend?”</p><p> </p><p>“But you’re a lesbian.”</p><p> </p><p>Saying it aloud makes his stomach flip. Handong is a lesbian. Most of their friends are lesbians. Are things going to change now or be weird? How does Handong feel about it? He could ask, but worry keeps him from opening his mouth anymore. Handong casually acknowledges it before shrugging.</p><p> </p><p>“I can be a lesbian with a boyfriend. But if that makes you feel weird, we can talk about it more.” </p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t make me feel weird. I don’t want your identity to change just because mine is.” </p><p> </p><p>Handong forces their fingers to intertwine, “Soooo… when you come out to everyone else, I can start telling them about how amazing my boyfriend is. And how I think he’s really great. How much I love him. That I’m so happy he eats the fried squid I cook even though I burn it literally <em> every </em>time.”</p><p> </p><p>“God, who knows when I’m even gonna say anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“You have all the time in the world.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can I ask you something?”</p><p> </p><p>She nods.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you still gonna be… attracted to me? Part of why I finally felt like I needed to come out with this is because I really want to get surgery. Maybe. At some point.”</p><p> </p><p>“For what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Like, top surgery.”</p><p> </p><p>She nods again, firmly this time, “I will never <em> not </em>be attracted to you, baby.”</p><p> </p><p>His lips curve upwards, even more when she grabs his chin.</p><p> </p><p>“Not when you’re this handsome.”</p><p> </p><p>“I really like that.” he softly confesses.</p><p> </p><p>“Handsome?”</p><p> </p><p>It’s his turn to nod. Eyes fall closed as Handong kisses him. She leaves one more gentle peck on his lips before insisting, “Then I’ll keep using it.”</p><p> </p><p>They stand in comforting silence before Handong gives him a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for telling me.” </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for listening… and not freaking out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you really think I’d react badly?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know. I was just worried.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you’re gonna worry about anything… worry about what movie we’re putting on tonight. It’s your turn to choose.”</p><p> </p><p>Beaming, Siyeon lets her kiss the smile off his lips. </p>
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